Colvin，come on！

        I always feel confused that if i am a sleepyhead coz recently i really sleep a lot.

        Today is June the 4th,on which day 21 years ago i came to life.In my hometown,people celebrate their lunar birthday so i actually don't take today for my birthday before i started to get huge interests in constellation.Because constellation is measured off the Gregorian calendar.A lot of my friends send well-wishings to me,thank u all!

        When i decide to write in English,the content will not be happy or positive.I think only a few friends will be willing to read my English posts,and this is my real purpose.

        Like all the things above are garbage......

        In the past i made great efforts to be offish,for a long long time,i didn't make friends with new people,i didn't attend parties,i abducted myself in a small,black house and refused everything.Reason?Maybe is the scare of being hurt.So i fell in love with lonelyness.I used to be alone.I believe that only oneself can be everlasting,and nothing can be immortal forever......

        Then after several years,my heart starts to get more and more peaceable,i become more positive,optimistic and well-meaning.People say that every one is an apple which is created by god,sometimes i think that i should be an apple,too.Althougt i am not the tenderest or the balmiest one,but i am at least fine.

        So i try to let myself out.I met new people,made a lot of friends,attended parties and in the end,i finally noticed that i've fell for someone...

        Although i know that it is not right to say that everyone's love is an heartbroken thing,but to me that parlance is definitely tenable...

        Time told me that my forepassed decision and action was right.That means i should persist in being an isolationist.Thinking of this right now,i feel much better now.I finally get the idea of how to survive next and to become better and better!I have enough friends,and a happy familly.I don't mean to give up somthing,but i will not abandon myself to feel as if a knife were piercing my heart any more.

        I know i am loving you,deeply...but that's all.I will let you go,straightly from my heart,

        now...

        You don't have to escape as a jailbird,Did having loved me mean a tribulation?

        今年夏天来的早，气温飙升得让人猝不及防。我在想，初夏的温度，不应该是温柔缱绻轻言细语的温热吗。傍晚那突如其来的雷雨，将外出散步的恋人双双困在屋檐，男子用衣袖轻轻擦拭女孩被淋湿的脸，从她头发上缓缓摘下那片雨水打下的树叶。

        浪漫是种气质，而非手段。

        理应早就长大，可总在这个季节期望一个低眉顺眼的邂逅。哪怕只是擦肩而过，并无携手的缘分。但那一刻的电光火石，怦然心动，甚至胡思乱想，伴随着鼻尖后背沁出的细细汗珠，也都是美好的。

        ……

        想起以前我常常约着三五好友在日沉西山之后坐在随便哪个路边摊就那样不顾一切地恣意吃喝，只是眼睁睁盯着马路上的车来车往都能心生快慰。晚上爬到床上，夜逐渐夜但觉这心尚未夜，电扇吱呀呀转个不停，蛙鸣声声不绝。虽然从来都是一个人，我却沉迷于双人床的诺大空旷，为所欲为。挑一首热爱的歌一遍一遍地听，我的身体在床上翻来覆去。

        也许失眠就是在夏夜罹患的，深夜谁不着，便只好瞪着眼睛想心事。夏夜的窗外繁星点点，暖风阵阵吹过，带走我发梢的汗水，留下些许微薄的凉意。

        任何心事，从来都是自己想出来的。

        夜深人静的时候往往毫无防备，任你想起再莫名的人都容易觉得悲伤。尤其你已经深爱那个人，很久很久了。而那个人却坚定不移坚贞不屈地绝不属于，也不曾属于你。

        我坐在宿舍发呆，想不起去年的这个时候我在做什么。或者前年，再以前。

        好吧，明天我21岁。

        都来祝福我吧。我很需要，谢谢。